No Homo
by LilyKotsu
Summary: A short drabble about a day in the life of everyone's favorite bisexual psychic, Naoya.


A short drabble, not a serious fic... hence why it's written in weird tense.

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**9:00 am.**

It's the beginning of the day. Naoya checks his watch. Time for the psychic to begin his daily routine.

**9:15 am.**

Naoya enters the gym and scans the basketball team having a practice session during their free period. He spies his target: the tall, lanky, redheaded, Chinese exchange student.

Naoya times himself just right and runs onto the court.

Naoya smacks Yi Xin on the ass. "No homo, _Isshin_-senpai!"

He then runs away gleefully as senpai gives chase, but the Arayashiki never, ever catches the EGO.

**11:00 am.**

After successfully evading the angry senpai, Naoya spots Mana, on her way to eat sweets with Amou in the school courtyard.

Naoya checks to make sure Kaname or "Isshin" aren't around. He double-checks. He triple-checks. The coast is clear.

Naoya quietly sneaks up and teasingly spanks Mana. "Daaang girl, no homo." Naoya winks and thinks he's so clever for getting away with that.

Mana blushes softly and she covers her blush with her hands. She'd scold him, but Naoya's always doing stuff like that.

_Damn_, Naoya thinks, _she's too cute sometimes._

Naoya doesn't touch Amou's butt, because he's pretty sure the angel doesn't understand the earthly concept of "no homo".

"What's 'no homo'?" Amou asks softly. Naoya's are suspicions confirmed.

"Uh, it's when you touch your friend's butt?"

"Oh," the Eraser replies softly. He has a thoughtful look on his face. "Aren't you going to touch _my_ butt? W-we're friends now, right?" Amou looks at Naoya with that shy, sad, amnesiac puppy look he sometimes gets.

With no good answer to give, Naoya teleports away without touching any alien butts.

**11:56 am.**

Naoya stops walking. He has a terrible, creeping feeling tugging at his psychic senses. Someone is very angry with him.

A Bible comes flying out of the shadows and hits Naoya square in the face.

The source is the angry priest who comes trudging out a moment later.

"I just had to explain the word 'homosexual' to Amou!" Nakaura-sensei shouts. He is so steamed that his glasses are foggy.

"You could have, I dunno, _not_ explained it to him?" Naoya suggests, rubbing his face. He thinks it's really ironic that sensei has never explained that word to Amou before.

Nakaura suspends Naoya from school for the rest of the week.

**2:00 pm.**

Naoya approaches his favorite smoking spot, an old phone booth in a small park. He's in a serious need for a long drag on a cigarette.

There's a man leaning against the phonebooth.

It's Mizunagi. He looks at Naoya and cocks an eyebrow. "Get your scrawny ass kicked out of school?" The older EGO pulls a cigarette from his black coat pocket and floats it over to Naoya with his powers.

They aren't enemies anymore, there is no venom in the gesture. Naoya takes it. He sticks it in his mouth. "Shaddup," he replies and reaches for his lighter.

There's a couple making out by a tree across the path from them. Mizunagi picks up a rock with his telekinesis and throws it at them. "Hey, get a room, you two!"

The couple panics and scrambles away from the tree. Naoya catches enough of a glance at them to recognize that it's Amou's friend, Gabriel, and his Master-slash-boyfriend.

Naoya takes a long drag. "Aren't you supposed to be on your Mindbreaker's turf?"

Mizunagi smirks and shakes his head. "Nah. You know us EGO guys, we only like being around when we're not needed."

**7:00 pm.**

It's just after sunset. Naoya peeks into Kaname's room. As usual, the demon boy isn't wearing a shirt.

Naoya eyes dem delicious demon abs.

Naoya sneaks in and grabs Kaname's ass.

"No homo?" Kaname asks blankly. He's not surprised that his friend is randomly in his room. Again.

"No homo, bro," Naoya replies, but then doesn't move his hand. He grins deviously. "Full bi."

Kaname then smacks Naoya so hard that Haruna feels it.

Somewhere across the city, Haruna rolls her eyes. Her twin brother is an idiot.


End file.
